Disclaimer: Look, if no one wants them, I've got a spare bedroom! I'll live in my car! (It's a Corvair, it's got a big enough back seat!) Notes: I had to do this. It hurts too badly! Maybe you can feel better with this! Sentinel Too, Epilogue of Life by Wnnepooh * still trying hard to believe and clapping furiously. "NO...Oh, God, NO!" Jim shouted as Simon pushed him further away. With all his might, the man set aside his captain forcibly and rushed back to his partner's side. His hands came together, right hand on top, locking into the push position over the younger man's chest. "No...he's alive...I know it..." His mouth settled over pale blue lips and blew long and steady... "I've got a pulse!" Said the amazed paramedic. ~~~~~ Jungle. Wet, warm, familiar... A heartbeat drew his attention, then a sound - a rustling of leaves and a low, raspy growl. His eyes fixed inbetween the bush and connected with haunting yellow orbs. A whimper met his ears causing him to rush forward. There on the ground before the yellow jaguar was the wounded wolf. "What the hell is a wolf doing.." The growl interupted his sentence, bared teeth sharpening the sense of danger. "Sandburg." he hissed through clenched teeth. "Get away from him." As the jaguar skulked closer to the wounded wolf, Jim raised his bow and set the arrow into place. Before he could fire off a shot, the jag sprang forward, claws and teeth bared and shredding his flesh painfully. They wrestled for several minutes, Jim's strong hands finally wrapping around the beast's neck and choking off the air. With a long low rasp, the body went still, falling limp at Jim's side. He didn't waste time but jumped to the wolf's side, staring down into the placid blue eyes. It whimpered again, as his hand went to remove the wooden shuttle where it protruded from the animal's chest. At the slightest touch of Jim's hand, the animal began to whine and moan, the physical features blurring and morphing. "Easy buddy..." Jim said as the body resolved into a familiar form. As the blooded shaft and arrowhead parted from the body, a long howl of pain came from Blair's mouth, echoing through Jim's head. Jim placed his hand over the wound, pressing his fingers over the slick surface of his partner's chest. "Jim..." came the whisper. "Take it easy, Chief. You'll be okay, now." "Gotta tell you..." he stuttered, his naked body shivering even in the moist jungle heat. "Must tell you..." "No, Sandburg. You don't have to tell me anything. I've gotta tell YOU something." As he spoke, Jim pulled his friend close. "I'm sorry, buddy. I'm REALLY sorry...If I'd just stopped to listen to you... If I'd just thought about you and not myself..." The trademark smile made it's way across the young man's face. He knew his friend, knew how hard it was to admit his wrongs. "Jim...I forgive you..." "I don't deserve it, Chief. I've dragged you along all this time and just never thought you'd get hurt..." His voice faltered, the pain in his friend's eyes causing his throat to constrict. "That's not true...I always thought I'd be able to save you or that I'd be the target, not you..." There was a small chuckle from Blair as he cast his eyes up to the Sentinel. "Your worst fear realized..." "What?" Jim said, his voice quick and full of hurt as he felt his partner's breathing become more labored and slow. "You're worst fear realized, Sentinel." came a stronger voice from behind them. Jim looked up at the painted figure, the jungle dress and crossed arms so familiar to him. "He's dying. And it was you who caused his pain." Feeling the life ebbing from his friend, Jim carefully set him aside wrapping him in his own shirt, then stood up chest bared to the warrior. "Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I KNOW that it's my fault. MY RESPONSIBILITY? I accepted the gift, I accepted the responsibility. IF I could give my life for his I would..." "Done." came the grave voice. Jim nodded, understanding clearly the deal he'd just made. "Take him to the temple, lay him there upon the altar and leave him. You will find the cliff and offer yourself in exchange for him. From your mouth, the sacrifice was given..." "I...I understand." Jim carefully picked up the chilled and limp body of his partner, his brother & friend - his complement. He didn't know why, he just walked towards the deeper jungle brush. No path ahead, but still he walked. A few minutes through the bush and he saw it. It was the temple from his dream, two stone figures set watch over a large stone altar. Jaguars, staring down at the slab a mysterious yellow glow eminating from their eyes. As hard as it would be, Jim knew his responsibility. He settled Sandburg on the flat stone and spoke softly into the young man's ear. His hand could still feel the slow, strong beat of the wounded heart. "I never meant for it to come to this...Blair. You know you've always been the strong one. You always believed in my abilities, even when I didn't." The tears started, then, Jim's vision blurred and his hearing automatically focused in on the slow but strong heartbeat. "I'm no good without you, Chief... but God knows you're better off without me..." His hand settled on Blair's forehead, smoothing back a few stray curls. Jim set his forehead reverently against his partner's, murmured last apologies into his temple, then turned and walked towards the cliff. The scene would have been beautiful to anyone. Jim actually thought if he had to die, then the cliff was fine. He looked down - way down - to the lush, green river valley below, the waterfall that seemed many stories high and the spray that seemed to breathe clouds, certainly a beautiful place to die. One last glance to the temple, and Jim took the couple steps forward over the edge... ~~~~~ "JIM!" Simon said loudly into the detective's ear. He saw the man's body jerk, then slowly sit up. "Man, you look like hell." "Thanks. I'll remember that. Where am..." The beeping caught his ear and cut his words short with triggered memories. "Blair!" "Yeah, Jim." Sandburg said in a terribly hoarse voice. "I'm here, man." The joy on Jim's face shown brightly, especially in his eyes, as he carefully embraced his friend. His celebration was cut short by his own confusion as Jim stood and checked over his own body. "I'm here, right?" "Yeah, Ellison." The captain said with some concern. "You're here, Blair's here. We're all here. Why?" "Uh, Simon..." came Sandburg's weak voice. "Give us a minute or two..." He watched the older man leave, typically removing a cigar from an inside coat pocket as he was leaving. "Jim....I, uh, I want you to listen to me." "Sandburg - Blair. I don't know what happened... I shouldn't be here..." The anthropologist smiled. "I wouldn't come back without you." "Why?" Blair grabbed his friend's hand and held it as tightly as he could. "I told you once, it's about friendship. I got it then...but YOU didn't. Not until...now. I always thought you'd give your life for me if you had to..." "You know." Blair nodded slightly, his hand still holding Jim's. Only now, Jim was clutching the hand to his heart. It was strange, but Blair could feel Jim's heartbeat. Not from where his hand was, but just in his own heart in general. The connection between them had been strengthened by this trip to the other side. He smiled as thoughts of Shaman texts ran through his mind. He wanted to tell Jim, would have to later. Now that there was time... "Jim." And their eyes met, Jim's tear-glazed and Blair's getting there. "The panther appeared to me just as you stepped off the cliff. Told me to follow him back, but I wouldn't go." Again Jim asked. "Why?" "What good am I without you?" the young man said then watched his partner bow his head. "Just as you have no control without me, I have no purpose without you. This goes way beyond partners, man. Way beyond friendship, too." "I know...I don't know what to call it except... brotherhood, Sandburg. And I'm not used to that. I've never had anyone so close to me - not even Stephen. I told you I didn't need you or anyone else to tell me who I am - I was wrong. I knew WHAT I was, but I didn't know WHO..." Jim's voice cracked with his last words. He didn't know how to say things. Words were Sandb..Blair's job. Jim was the protector and he'd failed at that. "I'm still not sure I know - but I know you do." They exchanged smiles. "I've always known." Blair took a deep breath trying to calm his racing heart. "Jim, you're everything WE, your friends, want you to be and everything you want yourself to be. You just haven't gotten it that you don't have to TRY anymore. You grew up with disapproval and now that you've got your senses - your secret - you're still afraid of disapproval." "Back to the fear thing..." Jim moaned. "We CAN'T disapprove of you, Jim. We love and care about you." And with a long breath, Blair whispered. "I love you. And I could never ask you to be any more than you are. Even if we can't put a noun to it." Jim smiled back at his best friend, words and feelings swirling together in his mind and chest. Until recently, Jim had never really understood unconditional love. Recently? Hell it was only a few hours ago, when they'd pulled Blair - no, Blair's BODY - from the fountain. It was then that he'd known the pain of losing the closest thing to his heart - his best friend. He'd poured his will into Blair to get him breathing again, then taken up the seat next to the bed until they could get the kid out of his coma. That's when he'd slipped into that dream... or maybe the dream had just taken him. Jim couldn't understand WHY he was alive. He'd taken the step off the cliff - he'd given his life to restore Blair's. That was the only thing he could do to show his love. But he was here, now. And so was Blair. Even when given his life back, Blair dared to risk it for someone else - someone who didn't deserve it. Jim chanced a look over to his partner whose eyes were now closed in needed rest instead of eternal peace. He'd never be able to understand or repay Blair for the gift of his life. But he'd certainly die trying. The hand on his shoulder startled him slightly and Jim turned to see Simon had returned. From the look on his face, he'd heard some of the conversation. As quietly as possible, and without letting go of Blair's hand, Jim filled in the blanks for their friend. "You were willing to give it all up in exchange for him..." It wasn't a question from Simon, but a statement. "And he couldn't let you do it. I envy you, Jim." The men exchanged winsome smiles. "What's the word on Alex or Alicia or whatever her name is..." The shaking of Simon's head made Jim stop in mid sentence. It would be too much to hope that they'd caught her. He'd hunt her down. No two ways about it. Let it cost him his badge... "She never made it any further than the woods near the University." "Who collared her?" Banks wasn't sure he believed it himself, but with the information just given him - it made more sense. "We found her naked, in the woods. She was dead - Strangled." It took a moment for the reality to set in, but when it did, Jim didn't flinch or shirk. If anything, he sat up straighter as if a thousand pounds of pressure had been lifted from his shoulders. There was a smile on his face as he bent his head back to Blair's side. "Thank God." Simon placed a hand on Jim's back and stared happily at Blair. "Thank anyone or anything you can, Jim. And while you're at it, thank them for me as well." ~~~~~ End